Civil servants told to imitate answer phones

Without doubt, this is my favourite story from yesterday's national Civil Service strikes.

She's a dirty girl pulling up her knickers...

The Civil Service is, simply put, the vital organ of government. Without it, it would rather be like being paralyzed from the neck down - able to talk but little else.

With this is mind, Rachel Sylvester's comments in yesterdays Times seem particularly pertinent.

Sylvester notes the increasing paralysis setting in within Brown's government, seeing legislation delayed, or 'reviewed':

"When Alan Johnson, the Home Secretary, announced a U-turn on ID cards recently, he was only catching up with his civil servants. The Home Office had already delayed the contract to print the cards until October 2010, well after the election. At the Ministry of Defence, big procurement projects, including Trident, are on hold."

And, rather like the dirty hussy at the office party, there is an increasing tendency for senior civil servants to sneak off for a quick fumble with the shadow minister.

It is a quirk of our constitutional system that such a system should emerge, unlike the American model which allows for a defined period of hand-over the British model literally hits the ground running.

So it should hardly be taken as surprising, with only a year away before an election must be called, that many servants are looking towards their new masters.

Indeed, it does seem as though the service is now somewhat getting into bed with the Conservatives, reflecting the view held by many that Dave's ambitions shall prove fruitful.

However, with the preference towards delaying and reviewing, the current situation can be seen to fuel the Prime Minister's own current political predicament. Little 'decisive action' can be taken and instead the circle is completed again of words but with no actions. Well, certainly not until they've won re-election...

And what are the chances of that happening?